Bittersweet

An interesting thing happened yesterday. I got rid of a bunch of baby stuff that has been taking up a ton of space in the closet under the stairs.

A neighbor's daughter is pregnant (very young, unwed, no money at all) and needs EVERYTHING. It was a win-win situation for all of us. My neighbor paid me $100 for what originally was about $500-$600 worth of stuff. They got a good deal on my old stuff (that was still in really good condition), and I made a little money and freed up some space that I can use for other things.

I have to admit that I felt a little sad to see all that stuff go, though. It marks the end of a really big part of my life. No more babies. No more baby stuff.

It's not that I want to have more babies. I'm getting past my "prime" baby making years, and my last two babies darn near killed me. Not to mention the fact that as it is now, I have not had a complete night's sleep in the last two years unless I went far far away from my kids and drank a lot. Seriously. Not joking at all about that.

I think it's just the finality of it all.

I'm still a mom. My kids haven't gone anywhere. But they're growing up. Needing me less and less. Wanting to gain more independence every day. A lot of that tiny baby stuff represents them needing me 100%. And while I love watching them grow, it's hard to imagine them not needing me.

On the other hand, it's nice when I can put the baby down for a nap, and I can tell my older kids that they need to entertain themselves for a little while. And they actually do it. Takes a while to get there...

And it's really nice to get rid of some of the big baby stuff that really hogs space. Storage is at a premium, and wow, we actually have some storage space for a change!

All these conflicting emotions... I never thought I'd get so attached to a baby bathtub.

It's bittersweet.